Archive for the 'Sport' Category

Mikey Stafford was at The New Den on Monday to report for The Guardian on the FA Cup 1st round match between Millwall and AFC Wimbledon. The appearance at the game of David Haye, Millwall fan and recently crowned heavyweight boxing champion, seems to have given him a bit of a funny turn.

The headline for Stafford’s match report refers to Jason Price, who scored two of Millwall’s four goals, delivering “FA Cup knockout punches”. Stafford himself may not have written that, but the sub who did undoubtedly got the idea from Stafford’s liberal – some might say excessive – use of boxing metaphors.

Millwall’s “slow start and devastating finish” must have resonated with Haye, we are told. Two late goals “knocked the stuffing” out of the Blue Square Premier team, AFC Wimbledon. Those goals “skewed the scorecards”, obscuring the fact that the lower-league side “went toe to toe” with their more illustrious opponents for long periods.

Although the game finished 4-1, the first half was “evenly fought” and the midfield battle “fiercely fought”. AFC then “struck out in classic rope-a-dope fashion” and nearly scored. It was 0-0 at half-time, but Millwall “came out swinging after the bell” and took the lead in the second half. Showing “grit and determination”, AFC “fought back” and their keeper displayed “cat-like reflexes” to make an important save.

Millwall then scored again to make it 2-0. Strangely, even though the match was not yet over, Stafford describes AFC as “beaten but not bowed” (shurely shome mishtake? Ed). But there was to be no “comeback”; although the non-league team did manage to reduce the deficit to a single goal, they then conceded another one and Millwall’s fourth “finally put AFC on the canvas”.

Which is pretty much where I was when I reached the end of this report.